Fackin Christmuz...

Ok well looking at my calender I reckon its about time for a seasonal rant about the commercial fiasco that is Christmas. Thats what you'd think, but despite what you might have heard i do have an original bone in my body and i'm well aware that every two bit tv-guide hack and blogger is going to be on this one this week. So here's a picture of an incredibly cute squirrel instead.

Oh my god look at it's EARS for fux sake!

Aside from typing swear words in Google images and seeing what comes up (see below for my fave) I've been getting in the festive spirit by watching ludicrous amounts of daytime tv and drinking brandy coffee for breakfast. this is of course to avoid the horrors of town (here in Maidenhead this week) which is bloody awful at the best of times let alone at this time of year. and the warming properties of brandy make Fern and Phillip even better!

Merry Fackin' Chriztmuz!

..

Some old photos of Brighton...

The palace pier.

The west pier in a storm.

A Nouveau postcard

Some 70s wronguns smashing a piano on the level.

Playmobil Jakey!

I swear on my grave this is real! I'm sure i would have greatly benefitted of playing with more alcoholics as a child (excluding family members of course).

I love the way the copper's evicting the poor bastard with a sword! He may be a Prussian officer engaged in a little ethnic cleansing i suppose.

I have not managed to write this blog for some time as i have been resigned to using internet cafes and the hallowed eaves of brighton uni, formally polytechnic, for my internet access. Also i have better things to do that write crap on the interweb. I can't remember what hese things are right now but i'm sure thay wil come. I can't imagine that any readers will give an enormous fuck about this but i feel i should be making more of an effort.

Anyway grovelling aside if anyone can come up with any other bizarre toys, Duplo hoookers, Lego crackheads or anything, keep it to yourself eh.

X

Zombie Nosh...

I did have something i was going to write about.

It seems to have slipped my mind.

Can't think why.

The Anarchists Jokebook...

Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?

Because property is theft.

Well apparantly a global pandemic of asian bird flu is going to bring the world to it's knees. i feel however that seeing as this year we have already had the asian tsunami, katrina and the kashmiri earthquake, nevermind the constant flow of death and destruction cpmoing from iraq, palestine and more african repuplics that you can shake an AK at, a few more deaths won't hurt. i think i'm going to be alright as i'm in norfolk and i don't think they've heard of asia here.

besides i thought it was perfectly normal for birds to fly.

Back of Beyond, an new level of shithole.

Well i have spectacularly failed to keep my blog up to date.

The reason for this? I have been currently touring the industrial areas and ringroads of england in my quest to sort rubbish into data. Well yay for me. i am not feeling incredibly inspired sheltering from the drizzle in salisbury's prestigious 1960's library. I am also too scared to open ant attachments sent to me by some of my less civilised contacts for fear of recieving a piture of a man showing love for his pet. well shee-it. Of all the places i have been this month Fareham was the worst. in fact i reccomend you take your a-z of england and some tipp-ex and eradicate the area totally from your world as you wont ever want to go there. Ever.

Widnes was quite nice. it had a good selection of accents (always fun to imitate the locals, without being punched) and was only a stones throw from north wales which, after accidentally vitistin Rhyl (it sounded nice on the map) we wenth to bethesda near bangor which was absolutly stunning.

Fairly high level capering was had in the travelodge over the weekend. monday wasn't pretty. I hav'nt drank any alcholhol since monday. going to make it to friday and then undo any good i've done no doubt.

Spot The Difference Competition!

Can you spot the difference between these two images?

Send your answers to wiz@gmail.com and you could win some WALLPAPER!!!

John peel wallpaper!

Exclusive John Peel wallpaper.

The man, the legend

The wallpaper

The same deal as before.

Zombie Wallpaper

To celebrate George Romero's brilliant new addition to the dead trilogy (so that makes it what? A quadrigy?). Wiz has been slaving over a hot paintbox to bring you this EXCLUSIVE 'i'm gay for zombies' wallpaper for Windows and maybe Mac,

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Be the envy of your workmates with this FREE GIFT. Simply email wiz812@gmail.com and he will send it back to you since he can't be arsed to upload it anywhere right now this second.

Any donations in the form of paintbox drawings of yourself as a zombie would be greatly appreciated, make 'em about 70 X 70 pixels big and we can make a whole virtual pixel ZOMBIE HORDE and take over desktops all over the world.

aybabtu...

All your base are belong to us...

(Flash animation.)

aristocrat flag

Created this Flag for the Urban Dead team, I cant actually believe i've made a coat of arms for a MMORPG. I have stooped to a new level of geekness. Now i just have to work out how to post it on the UD site. I now have another blog which you can look at here . I also had the pleasure of looking at the funniest thing on the internet as well which was nice.

Urban dead

I have begun playing this online roleplaying game in which I am a survivor of a zombie holocaust.
the game is called urbandead, there is a link at the side of the page. It is very fun and also very sad. But it allows me to pretend i'm in a zombie film without being arrested for looting.

Getting to grips or getting annoyed.

I am not finding it too hard to adjust to this although slightly more complicated than putting pen to paper you can co things like this which i can't do by hand as my hand writing is quite slanty anyway so its hard to distinguish if i'm emphasising my words.

My sister is having a dinner party this evening. my mother insists i come out with them rather than impose on a room full of drunk 18 year old girls. I think this may be a little unfair as i am not only a hero of culture and all round good egg. I am also a spiffing party host. I insisted that my party tricks were a subtle blend of close up magic and topical satire but my mother did not believe my routine consisted of anything other that cock jokes.

this strange medium....

I am currently getting to grips with this thing. Whether i will be able to master it sufficiently in order to make somthing that will be coherent as a page or not i don't know. the fact is it doesn't actually matter. the chances of anyone actually reading this thing is minimal so i won't worry about any speling mistaks.